why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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