he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
