I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
