and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
