I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
