Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
