Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
