Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize