My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
