I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
