I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
