he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
