Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
NoShamevember. You game?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
