Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
