You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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