drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
