I think i sorta joined a cult last night
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
