Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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