She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
