So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
