addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Can you bring me the toilet please
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
