do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
