do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
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Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
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You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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