Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
