last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
