what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
