his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
