Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
