I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
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His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
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Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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