i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Randomize
