Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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