I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
