She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
