Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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