You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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