Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
