What did we do last night that was yellow?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
