like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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