Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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