is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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