Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
