Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
