Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just high enough for therapy.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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