Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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