pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
