i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
