how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
