my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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