Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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