your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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