Ambien. No doubt about it.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
