there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
