Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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