after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
it's great music for shaving your balls
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
