If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
