What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
