member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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