So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
