So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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