Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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