that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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