so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
