what if every blade of grass was a penis?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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