I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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