True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
