Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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