I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize